Where are my topless oldies?

  • Nick: How was your honeymoon?
  • Christine: It was muy bueno.
  • N: Where did you go?
  • C: Cancun.
  • N: Oh, nice. It's offseason there so no Spring Break douches. Spring Break douches aren't blooming yet.
  • C: Just lots of burnt up old people.
  • N: That's the best.
  • C: And our hotel was an adults-only hotel that encouraged toplessness. Which meant old boobies.
  • N: Oh, man. That's amazing. That's what I want for my honeymoon. Just for the comparison. "Honey, I know you're struggling with having sex with only one person for the rest of your life but -- check it out! At least you're not doing it with a dude like that with his weird body hair and old balls! Sittin' pretty over here."
  • C: Haha.
  • N: Not that I'm clamoring for pictures of topless oldies, but did you take lots of pictures?
  • C: We took some but not many.
  • N: Okay, I'm clamoring for pictures of topless oldies.
  • C: Man, I couldn't find a Google Image to match that caption. Apparently, Google doesn't like supporting pictures of old women in bikinis.
  • N: Ageist. Google is ageist.